Deric Muhammad & Houston Forward Times You ARE Homophobic

Today a friend sent me an op-ed called Teen Lesbianism: Our Failure To Protect Our Daughters. When I saw who wrote it, Deric Muhammad, I was livid. Before I go in, read for yourself below:

"Teen lesbianism in the Black community has become rampant. It has become the “elephant in the room” that nobody wants to acknowledge. Ignored or not, the elephant is getting bigger and bigger. It is not uncommon to see school-aged girls sporting sagging jeans, wave caps, fade haircuts and “mean-mug” facial expressions. While the uniform does not necessitate lesbianism, the girl in the short skirt whose hand she is holding usually does."

In this op - ed Deric starts off like any other loving father protective of his children, daughters to be specific. He speaks of how fathers dread "the day when his daughter comes home and says, “Daddy, I have a boyfriend.” This is understandable, if I had son or daughter in my life, damn skippy I would be protective! I would love my child and humanity in general regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. So when I read this piece full of misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, gender policing, and patriarchy I was floored. If you are really loving of your child, you wouldn't consider it a "new nightmare that too many are having to endure when their daughters come home and boldly declare, “Daddy, I have a girlfriend.”

This assertion that lesbianism, teen lesbianism has become rampant is based your lack of acceptance of what has always existed within the BLACK community, QUEERS! You actually are the one who won't acknowledge the so called "elephant in the room," the one that has existed before your were a twinkle in your father's eye. WE are not some new phenomenon, WE EXIST, and do I need to remind you that much of the movement for our rights have been led by QUEERS? Here you come, a man who my GAY, BLACK ass has broken bread with, using this vitriol. Let make one thing clear for you and the Forward Times, you need to stop with this RESPECTABILITY crap.

"I recently, saw a couple with their young child at Houston’s Hermann Park having what appeared to be a family outing. The child called out “Daddy, look at me”. When daddy turned around, I realized that “daddy” was a not a male, but rather a female. I said to myself, that little baby girl is on her way to sure confusion."

After making the above Transphobic (among other descriptors I could use) statement, you try to clean it up by prefacing that you are "officially stating that I am not a homophobic." You ask not to "be mislabeled" while this whole piece doing just that to Black Queers. The problem that we need to face squarely is that you need to learn that the world has more than religion and heterosexuality. You are right, we will never create solutions wisely with your uneducated and bigoted way of thinking. The truth is that we as Black men have not failed our women miserably. Black women are not ours, they are not things, Black women are individuals with their own minds and freedom to be who they are. Your assertion implies that women are moldable into what men need them to be. You are dead wrong. White supremacy and the current system of things are what has affected us mentally, spiritually (if you have that belief), psychologically and our emotional condition has not "deteriorated the hopes of some Black women so badly that being with a woman as opposed to man has become appealing," as to infer that there was a choice available. Homosexuality exists. Bisexuality exists. We exist!

The number of sisters are exercising that "option" isn't as unprecedented nor is it an actual option, doing drugs is an option and lifestyle choice, our identities are not. The mistreatment of the Black female  women has always disgusted some of our sisters to that they have always turned to one another for comfort, consolation and companionship. This is called friendship and for you to sexualize nonsexual relationships in order to prove you moot point, now this is fragile masculinity at its best. Don't conflate friendship to what has always existed, not as a lifestyle, not a choice for teenage girls engaged in this lifestyle at expressing themselves at such an early age.

"It is a scientific, biological and social fact that “opposites attract”. You don’t have to teach a female to be attracted to the male species; her God-given nature dictates that attraction. When the natural inclination toward the opposite sex is reversed, there is a reason for that reversal. Often when a young girl is sexually molested by a man, sometimes her own father, this leaves her with an innate hatred for men in general."

Here is a question, what quack scientist told you that baseless lie, THE MAJORITY of men and women, cis and trans did not have molestation play a factor in their sexual orientation or gender identity. We naturally, those of us who are real about our orientation have always known, there was no choice. Your assertions are just as violent and abusive as the red herring description of a "young girl grows up witnessing her mother, whom she loves, suffer extreme abuse from a husband or a boyfriend. She sees and feels the pain of women that she loves and vows to never allow a man to violate her in that way." So no, it is not that "little sister" deciding to to take a course, it is called someone living her truth without the presumption that she is "a victim or a witness of rape, molestation and extreme abuse." Like you said, "It is important that you do not improperly judge her if you would like to help her." There is no reason to suspect a cause or effect for a natural state of being, not condition. THERE IS NOTHING TO ADDRESS with us, but you need to be addressed. Badly.

Since you are such a firm believer that if one wants to solve a problem, one must get to the root of it. Lets agree that so called teen Lesbianism is not necessarily the problem and that it isn't just the result of the deterioration of the social fabric of society.  Let's say that it is more than a by-product of a sex-crazed world, let's be real and say that it is people who think like you. Let us recognize the mentality of the white man that you have and are subconsciously pushing on to Black Queers. The only thing destroying the Black male is you and others who think like you with a collective willingness to be co-conspirators in your own demise. So focused on " your women" as tools of procreation to bore man children and women to keep the cycle of subjugation of said women in play. This whole mentality is clearly that of a colonized mind. This is hotep to another level and yes, it is the direct result of the culture that degrades women as tools of pleasure and influences our young boys to treat our young girls like things and not like queens. Your piece does this very thing.

"My impetus for writing this short message of concern is to try and create a dialogue among us about how our baby girls are hurting. Many mothers and grandmothers are heartbroken by this epidemic and don’t know what to do. The first thing that we must do is get out of denial."

The only thing we need to do is love, provide, and protect our children from dangers and that may even include ourselves. The real denial is that your child could be queer and that you are more concerned about what you want and how you may look to others. The only epidemic is refusal to educate one's self about the dangers that persist in the world and stop demonizing a group of people who want to live and love. There is no way to stop your child from recognizing their sexual orientation, except for the fact that you will make them hide it while they are imprisoned by your misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, gender policing, and patriarchy. If you call this love, then you have to pay closer attention yourself not to people who mean no harm.

Rape and molestation does not cause homosexuality, but it will do you some good to pay attention to those closest to you if you want to know who the rapists and molesters are. By the way they (rapists and molesters) are usually the dear brothers who are preachers of the gospel who you are calling on not be afraid to address "this" on Sunday morning. The time has come that the people that Deric and Forward Times are talking about (me and you) to stop tithing to bigots that preach hate toward us (if you are the religious type) and go where you can be uplifted. There is nothing to fear but the heaviness of a bigot spewing lies under the guise of empowering us to save our people. We must use education and critical thought in the place of dogma to touch the hearts of our youth and encourage them to be their true selves.