#ITLQBM – Are we Devaluing Ourselves?

Intersectionality Through the Lens of a Queer Black Man

Previously: "We are dying from various reasons that range from health to hate, and we are not getting the attention at we need, nor do we give said attention to ourselves. Just look at how we are being treated like cattle when it comes to HIV prevention and treatment. They don’t think we can comprehend HIV 101, so they think they are doing a good job by teaching us how to use a condom and are now pushing prep down our throats and hoping for the best. They probably think that more of us are HIV positive and are in sero-conversion than previously known and they are trying to get us on meds ahead of time and watch the grant funding roll in from pharmaceutical companies and the HIV industrial complex."

We are killing ourselves by devaluing ourselves within the ranks of our own communities that we are part of. Isn’t it bad enough that everything about who we are is devalued and denigrated by the mainstream LGBT and Straight communities?! When we have views that are expressed from a place of intelligence, those views get attacked by those who don’t have the tools to comprehend what we are saying.When I say tools, I mean knowledge or access to information about terms and subjects that may come up. It is up to us to ask questions when we don't understand the subject matter that someone may be talking about instead of getting defensive, brushing off, and subsequently degrading someone for knowing something that you do not. Conversely, we cannot look down upon, belittle and degrade others for not knowing what we know or processing information slower than we may process it.

It goes back to the social conditioning that we are in a competition as opposed to a community where individuals operate within their own lanes and periodically work in groups toward a common goal.It is so contradictory to me that we as Black people in general and in the SGL/LGBT are automatically groomed to be twice as good as our White counterparts and then when we achieve some level of success we, as I have previously stated: "As a Black man I see the images that illustrate that there are two ways to live get educated or live a street life. We get beat down by those who look like us when we show signs of intelligence and are belittled for being educated." This is a HUGE issue as it pertains to intersectionality, we are multiple things all at once and all of the sudden we cant be intelligent. 

We all have talents that are unique to our individual selves and those talents need to be respected by our counterparts. Attempting to give an unsolicited directive about one's message and how it is conveyed to others is disrespectful and crossing boundaries that don't need to be crossed. In the words of a good friend, "don't yuck my yum." We have to learn to stop knocking down others' preferences with our prejudices and put our egos to the side, which simply means that we have to respect the experiences of those we come in contact with, as these experiences are unique to each individual. The fact is that you never know what you can learn from someone if you listen actively and even if you disagree, you will have learned something new about yourself and others. When we listen and watch others actively, what we learn can become the key to becoming more self aware and better knowing our intersections on a collective and individual level.

"The way you do things works for you and I RESPECT THAT, but be fully aware that you do NOT have the right to impose your respectability politics on me, this is NOT ABOUT YOU. Some of you REALLY need to put ego aside, and even realize that because some of you are in the ranks of predominantly White organizations and groups does NOT give you White privilege. YOU, my "friends" that have a problem with my unapologetic Blackness and my refusal to mold myself into someone that is palatable to White folks can kiss my ass and as a matter of fact you can go straight to your hell if that is what you believe in."